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Oh, and the outfits—lordy! Glitter, heels, fake lashes—makes me jealous, then sad. I’m in this apron, hair like a blue mop, while they’re out there sparklin’. But then—hmm…—I think, “Marge, you’re no Dae-su, trapped and fightin’.” I’m free, sorta. Still, escort’s a hustle I couldn’t hack—too nervy, too nuts!

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The Fraser River kinda runs like a heartbeat through the city. I stroll by its banks near Cascade Road, feelin' a bittersweet calm, just like in those movie moments. Seriously, as a sexologist, I'd say the curve of the river is as sensual as a whispered secret. That’s deep, right?

Rally in Maple Ridge, B.C., calls for more education funding amid ongoing cuts