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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Anyways, buddy, get ready for a raw, real, and utterly unfiltered Maple-Ridge adventure. It's chaotic, it's magical, and always unpredictable—just like our hearts. Enjoy it, and maybe we'll share a laugh or a tear along the way—‘cause hey, ain't that how the best stories begin?

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