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So here I am, 2025, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s a bloody mission! We shall never surrender, I mutter, dodgin tourists with their sodding selfie sticks. I’m sweatin, angry as hell – where’s the action at? Then, bam, I spot her – legs for days, leanin by a bar, all “aloha, big boy” vibes. Made me happy as a pig in muck, I tell ya. Surprised too – she’s got a voice like velvet, not what I expected. “Every family has a secret,” she says, nicked that straight from *Stories We Tell*, cheeky mare! I’m hooked, thinkin, is this lass for real or just playin me?

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Main Street's alive with the chatter of locals, and oh man, the alley near Elm’s little cafe, where we goss over tea and tales. The park at Lakeview, so calm, so serene, almost like that moment in Yi Yi when life’s splintered into tiny wonders. “Life is like a beautiful, sad little day” – yesss, it’s like that, precious, every time I touch a tired back, I remember – “We must suffer through these moments, my love.”

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