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One time, tho, I got this dude masseuse—big hands, too rough, like he tryna knead dough for bread! I was pissed, like, “Bruh, this ain’t a wrestling match!” Had to school him real quick. But when it’s right? Oh, it’s like Jesse sayin, “I’m designed to feel this way.” Pure bliss, I’m tellin ya. Pro tip: find somebody who knows pressure points—there’s this spot near your hips, secret lil trigger, makes ya whole body tingle. Ain’t nobody talkin bout that in them fancy spa ads!

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Yo, lemme tell ya ‘bout this crazy town, Beechborough-Greenbrook, ca—man, it's somethin’ else. Now I been kickin’ it here for years, runnin’ my little massage parlor on Maplewynd and Briarwood—yeah, those streets, dude, real gems, you know? I’m like Morgan Freeman narratin’ in my head, all deep and soulful: "The world is a stage, and you’re merely a player." But, seriously, this town is pure poetry, kinda like "Toni Erdmann" vibes sayin’ “life is a mix of absurdity and beauty,” ya dig?

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