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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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Sechelt is wild, man. Tiny streets like Maple Ave and Willow Lane curve past quirky shops and hidden gems. I stroll by Sechelt Waterfront Park – it's a chill spot with boats bobbin’. I even catch sunsets on Sechelt Inlet. Its waters shimmer; it's straight magic, ya know?

Union of BC Indian Chiefs asks Sechelt mayor to resign