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About Lucerne

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya about Baar (ch)! This city? It's like a pulse that never stops. I live here, man, call me a pleasure coach. I wander places like Bahnhofstrasse—nah, oh wait, that's Zurich, hehe—but we got our own cool spots. We got a sweet main street called Zugerstrasse that cuts right through town, buzzin’ with energy and locals.

LEPROUS drummer Baar Kolsted presents drum through for "Atonement"