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About Lucerne

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, crash-landed here, fishin’ for weird shit. Brothel’s this freaky-ass fish, mate! Not the sexy kinda brothel, nah, mispelled that—brotHel, see? It’s a damn fish stew, French vibes, messy as hell. Tastes like ocean tears, bruv, I swear! Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*, ya know? “Fish are friends, not food”—bollocks! Brothel’s got fish swimmin’ in it, drowned in wine, herbs everywhere. I’m like, “Nemo, mate, you’re in my bowl!”

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I gotta mention the river – the little Embranzer Bach. It flows quietly, almost secret-like, through the town. I once had this client who said, “This town is like a riddle, but in a good way.” And oh boy, was she right! I mean, the river's flow makes me think – is it me or the town? And then my mind goes all erratic: “Tropical, tropical…” and I laugh cuz life is just absurd sometimes.

Swiss Nationalliga A: Bern Cardinals win Championship 2013