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About Bern

So, picture this—I’m droppin from the sky, chute open, wind screamin past me. Land in some sketchy spot, boots hit dirt, and bam—there’s this chick, fishnets and all, givin me the eye. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Findin Nemo*. You know, “Just keep swimmin,” right? Except she ain’t swimmin, she’s struttin—lookin for a john. And I’m like, whoa, what’s her story? Where’s her reef? Her clownfish fam? Lost in the big ocean, maybe?

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I know every nook and cranny here. There’s that gem of a street, Steinacher, with hidden murals an' quirky shops. Every time I'm massaging a stressed-out client, I think of Steinacher’s slow vibe – it’s like a gentle reminder that not everythin’ in life is perfect. Sometimes I even whisper small movie quotes like, “Ssssmell the roses, baby!” (okay, that's not exact but ya feel me, right?) while working.

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