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Here’s the real shit – findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. Web’s got escorts now, sure – fancy sites, all sleek. But X posts? Man, scrollin’ through that filth’s like plowin’ mud. Saw one ad – “Discrete fun, call me!” – with a blurry pic. Coulda been my cousin for all I know! Made me laugh, then gag. Jack Nicholson – Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – I’d rather stumble into it old-school.

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Now, lemme tell ya, not everythin’ is rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes, I get cranky at the endless renovation noise around Tannenweg. I mean, seriously, can a guy get a break? And then there's that one time when the power went out in our parlor – oh boy, that night was like a scene straight outta that movie, all dark and full of hidden looks and awkward silences. D’oh!

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