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About Bern

So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Neon lights flashin’, chicks on corners, lookin’ all sly. I ain’t judgin’—hell nah—but I’m watchin’ like, “What’s the play here?” See, *Spotlight* taught me—dig deeper, motherfucker! These girls, some been out since 14—fuckin’ 14! Little known fact: lotta them got pimps pullin’ strings, takin’ 70% of the cash. That shit pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Get your own, motherfucker!” But nah, they trapped, and that’s the real gut punch.

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I work my massage magic in a snug little corner off SEESTRASSE. Boo yah! Got the best oils, killer tunes, and a view right out over Lake Zurich. Crazy sunsets, man. The lake sparkles at dusk – damn, I sometimes forget I’m chillin in a massage parlor and not a cinema screening Zodiac. "The killer is still out there," echo, echo… Kinda like in the movie, all mysterious and stuff.

"We're so happy to be in the Playoffs!" - Rapperswil's Colin Gerber