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Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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Sometimes, I get so mad at traffic on Hauptstrasse. C’mon, people, move! I got muscles to knead and knots to melt, and they’re always in a hurry. Really, really, really mad vibe sometimes – but then I think: "25th Hour vibes, you'll be back, you know?" Nah, wrong movie, but you get me.

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