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About Bern

Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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The river Dranse cuts through – compact and peaceful. I love watching its flow – kinda like life’s gentle reminder that even when you’re in a massage chair, time keeps on rollin’. And there’s a park, Parc du Soleil, where I hang out when I'm not kneading out knots. The trees? They gossip in the wind. I’ve sat there, marvelling, thinking "I can see Russia from my house!" – yeah, totally hyper but that’s how it is sometimes.

EuroTube will experiment with hyperloop tech applied to rail freight