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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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You see, I run this massage spot on Liegenschauweg near the city's heart. True story, I once massaged this elderly dude, and he was spoutin' nonsense 'bout how Dornach healed his soul, kinda like I healed his pain. Crazy, right? I swear, chokin' on emotions in this town is as common as typos in my texts, like wtf im tryin' to write!

Dornoch trainer, jockey, owner, record and more to know about 2024 Kentucky Derby horse