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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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I know every nook and cranny here. There’s that gem of a street, Steinacher, with hidden murals an' quirky shops. Every time I'm massaging a stressed-out client, I think of Steinacher’s slow vibe – it’s like a gentle reminder that not everythin’ in life is perfect. Sometimes I even whisper small movie quotes like, “Ssssmell the roses, baby!” (okay, that's not exact but ya feel me, right?) while working.

Most asylum-seekers unaccounted for after leaving Swiss centre