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About Bern

Where d’ya even start? Streets used to be it, back in the 80s, hookers on every corner, fishnets and heels, smokin cheap cigs. Now? It’s all digital, bro – apps, sites, escorts got profiles slicker than my stock portfolio. You swipe, you pick, like orderin takeout. “I want her tonight,” Brandon says in *Shame*, all desperate, voice crackin – that’s the vibe. You’re horny, you’re greedy, you’re scrollin for that perfect lay. Little known fact? Some of these girls, they got regulars who tip em in Bitcoin – fuckin wild, right? Future’s here, man.

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Oh, and lemme tell ya bout this secret alley near Bergstrasse. It’s a narrow pass that's perfect for escaping crowded streets. Its charm is super underrated. I once had a massage session there spontaneously when the rain hit, and it was, like, wow, just pure serenity (but also kinda mad cause I nearly slipped – oops!).

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