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About Bern

Chatty one last week, kept yappin’ bout her “dreams”—I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Shut it,” I snapped, “I choose violence if you don’t.” She did—smart girl. Paid her quick, kicked her out quicker. Job done. That’s the game, mates—find ‘em, use ‘em, forget ‘em. Like “The New World,” it’s all fleeting—pretty till it ain’t. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink!

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So, there’s this street just off Bahnhofstrasse, yep that’s right – welcome to Muttenz! I mean, walking along Hauptstrasse, you'll bump into quirky cafes, gnarly graffiti, and oh, the little corners of art in every nook. Seriously, you ever seen a mural that just screams “life!”? Well, here they are – if walls could talk, they'd recite lines from "The Secret in Their Eyes" – “I had to look at your eyes,” they’d wink, like, oh snap… and you can literally feel a movie vibe in every brick, crumbling but full of secrets.

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