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About Biel-Bienne

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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So, lemme tell ya, street names like Züriblickgasse and Lindenweg, so chill they are. I always jot the cool ones down in my crib's little notebook, scribbled with doodles, ya know? Oh, and the park? There's Schwanenplatz Park, a chill hangout. I often drop by there after a long day massaging. People always come to me, sayin', "You know, where’s the chill spot?" And I say, "Over there, near the river, feel the force, young padawan!"

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