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About Bern

I got mad once, tho. Some jerk said prostitutes ain’t people. Pissed me off! I yelled, “They’re humans, ya barnacle!” Smashed my hammer on a plank—CRACK! Felt good. Oh, fun fact—did ya know in old times, carpenters sometimes built secret rooms for shady stuff? Bet prostitutes hung out there! Cool, huh?

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Start with Hauptstrasse – it's the lifeblood of town. Walkin’ down Hauptstrasse, ya see tiny cafés, a bistro or two. It’s, like, the perfect spot for people watchers (and trust me: families, couples, and even oddballs all come here). I sometimes sit at Café Rêve, a quirky joint with mismatched chairs, and watch the locals hunt for lost souls. "I was once in a fervent meeting with a mum and her teens" – classic stuff! I’d say, "Pretty, pretty good."

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