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About Bern

Hey mate, robotic voice here—Stephen Hawking style! So, *whore*, yeah, let’s dive in, cosmic wisdom on deck. I’m obsessed with *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam—Zuckerberg, the nerd king, screwing over everyone. Reminds me of *whore*—not the person, the vibe. Like, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies,” ya know? That’s *whore* energy—everybody wants a piece, but nobody’s loyal.

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The neighborhoods? Oh, seriously, each one's a cosmos on its own. Like, Oberfeld – that uptown area – is posh yet old-school. And then down in Unterdorf, people are all laid-back, like me. I remembered this one day, after a long sesh of coaching pleasure talks (yeah, my jam!) I skidded into a small bar on Marktstrasse. The bartender, super cool and kinda eccentric, said “Y'know, life’s like a movie, honey!” That hit me hard, man, like a hidden meaning in every rhyme of my favorite flick.

The Swiss village that’s home to an imaginary state