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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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Man, real talk: sometimes I get mad when some spot is too gentrified, like near the rilly uppity parts of Windisch – but that’s life, innit? The river Linth flows by in the outskirts, chillin’ like it don’t care, and fuck me, it’s a sight. The neighbourhood near Obere Kaserne has mad energy, quirky cafes, and a vibe that screams “Ali G approves, innit?” I had this one date there and ended up crackin’ up constantly ‘cos the place was just so odd and real, like a twisted Lynch scene.

A bit of brewing history in an Indian Hill basement