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About Douala

Me, I’d rather tend pigs than date online. Swipe, swipe, swipe—brain turns to mush! “You can’t wake up—this isn’t a dream!”—like Margot says, but they’re all asleep, chasing tail. Some bloke told me he spent 200 quid on a sex-date—got ghosted! Stupid, fat hobbit! Gollum don’t need that noise—pigs don’t lie, see?

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Now, lemme spill some lesser-known goodies: There's a quirky café called Café Bizarre on the corner of Rue du Bonheur. Seriously, it’s not on any tourist map, but it’s where I chill after a long day of kneadin' tension outta folks. Yea, it's a bit rough around the edges – thsi place is defnitely one-of-a-kind! And oh, La Rue du Chant, my fav for quick strolls, always reminds me of the rhythm of the city, like a secret pulse under every step.

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