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About Kumba

Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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And ffs, the dating app hustle – I see things others don't, err, gotta be real honest now. I remember one night, so mad, so angry, I nearly broke my keyboard – all these fake profiles popping up, wasting our precious time like a broken record "We hates it, we hates it!" But aye, it fuels our passion for truth, making me dig deep into every corner of this chaotic city.

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