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Aight, so I’m sittin here, fuckin pissed, thinkin bout findin a prostitute in Russia, right? Respect my authoritah! I’m like some badass actuary, crunchin numbers, but I got needs, ya know? This ain’t no boring ass spreadsheet—this is real shit! I love that movie, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, that Kim Ki-duk joint, so deep, man, “What you take, you carry,” he says. Heavy as fuck. Anyway, I’m in Moscow, cold as balls, tryna find a chick who don’t mess around. Prostitution’s illegal here, but c’mon, everyones doin it! Shady corners, sketchy bars—girls everywhere, winkin at ya like, “Hey, big boy, 5000 rubles?”

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The vibe here is erratic, wild, unexpected. One minute you're laughin', next you're cryin' (but the rain is cool, I swear), and every street tells a story, like Avenue de la Lune, glowy and calm. My app users always mention surprises around every bend. I mean, who knew a dating app could feel so connected to the heartbeat of a town, huh? I shout it out sometimes to the skyline: "I’m not a real boy," but here I am all real, and gawd, it’s all so surreal and kinda fun!

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