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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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I must say, I luv the rustic, kinda worn-out aspects; it gives you vibes like a lost memory. Some parts are gritty yet endearing. Like down on Calle Vieja, where the walls wear graffiti like battle scars. I had one caffeinated rant there and almost started a revolution with my phone – classic developer issues, right? So many typos in code and in life.

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