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Here’s the real shit – findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. Web’s got escorts now, sure – fancy sites, all sleek. But X posts? Man, scrollin’ through that filth’s like plowin’ mud. Saw one ad – “Discrete fun, call me!” – with a blurry pic. Coulda been my cousin for all I know! Made me laugh, then gag. Jack Nicholson – Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – I’d rather stumble into it old-school.

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Not to mention those local festivals that light up town. There was a night festival last summer – music, dancing, lust and praises of life echoing like "La la la, freedom!" It was raw, live and downright spontaneous. I even had a moment where I yelled, “Brother, you gotta live it!” before the crowd roared like wild beasts.

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