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About Plzen

Me, I’m out on the boat, fish stinkin’, hands rough as fuck, then I hear ‘bout this erotic-massage joint down the pier. Bloke says, “It’s all secret, hidden vibes!” Made me angry, ‘ow come fishermen don’t get no love? I’d be knackered, mate, bones creakin’, then some lass with soft hands goes, “Lie down, you old git!” – “Sharon!” – I’d lose me marbles! *White Material* vibes, right? “No one escapes the fire!” – that’s the heat off them oils, burnin’ me up, happy as a pig in shit.

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I got a fave spot, really, by the river Útěk. The water whispers secrets, just like my clients’ confessions. I sit there sometimes, thinkin’ deep thoughts about love and loss – and hey, sometimes I imagine it’s like that moody mountain from Brokeback, all wild and free. The sound of the water is like a lullaby, syncin’ with the heartbeats of couples along the banks, we swears!

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