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About Myself
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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.
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Sometimes I get so mad at the potholes on Korábova Lane – seriously, why are they still there? It’s like they’re a metaphor for the messed-up parts of life. I mean, fool me once, savior me twice, right? Not that I’m sayin’ it’s political or anythin’, but dang, my blood boils when I see them.
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