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About Frankfurt

But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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Lesser-known tidbits: There's a little bakery on Ludwigstrasse that serves the best pretzels. They’re so fresh, you'll swear they're made with pixie dust. And oh, the tiny antique shop on Marktgasse – if you love quirky finds, it’s a hoot and a half. Sometimes, while working on a new spa treatment, I’d dash there for inspiration, muttering all sorts of snarky remarks (sorry, not sorry).

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