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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Now, don’t even get me started on Krummestraße. I'm always wanderin’ down that road – weird houses, narrow alleys, somethin' outta a surreal thriller. It freaks me out sometimes, but also fills me with this deep crazy admiration for human survival in a tight-knit community. I mean really – even in their little faults, you see how families hold each other together. It’s like Dogville’s dark humor every day; neurotic, unpredictable, and pretty damn moving.

Triple A, New Under 25 Ride for Elisabeth von Wulffen