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About Cologne

But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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Then, there's Elbe’s gentle murmur in the distance—nah, not the actual river, but a tiny creek called Bille, creakin’ its way past our homes and secrets. Crazy, right? I sometimes hip-hop walkin' by, thinking... “This is it. This is real.” (Pauses, reflective.) Every crack in the pavement holds a tale.