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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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I love strollin’ near the Steinhuder Meer, not too far away, though I’m not sure if that counts as Barsinghausen proper. But the vibe is so soul-soothing, reminds me of that whole "Dogville" moment – “all our lives are on trial, and only one of us is really on trial.” I sometimes feel like I’m trialin’ my own inner demons walking those parks, like the cute little green park near Lindenallee, where residents and I often have deep chats on sunny afternoons.

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