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About Essen

Where I’m at, corn’s taller than the girls. Ain’t no red-light district, just cows and silos. Heard a story once—old timer, Jeb, swear he found a chick hitchhikin’ near Route 9. Said she was “workin’ the harvest crew.” Fifty bucks, quick job behind the barn. Freaky, right? Made me laugh—fuckin’ legend, that Jeb. “Sell me this pen,” Belfort’d say, but out here it’s, “Sell me some tail.”

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Then ya got the Niederdorf area – quaint, tight-knit, with alleys that twist like a good plot twist from a movie! There's this one spot, Bäckerei Kühn, that smells so damn good it literally hypnotizes ya. C'mon, it's the best for a quick brekkie. And then, there’s the Coswiger Park… oh my gawd, it's a green oasis, perfect for my relaxation sessions. Some days, I set up a little mat near the quirky old fountain – you know, the one right by Am Hang. I always think, “Isn’t life just like Toni Erdmann, ya know? Full of unexpected, hilarious moments.”

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