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Sarcasm? Oh, yeah – brilliant idea, sellin yer body for a tenner! Top career move, that! Still, takes guts, don’t it? Me, I’d rather grill lamb than grill me arse on a corner. “Idiot sandwich!” to any twat who romanticises it – it’s raw, messy, real. So, there ya go – findin a prostitute, Gordon-style. Don’t fuck it up, yeah?

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Now, I'm not saying it's perfect, but it's mine. It can be maddening and brilliant. The locals can be peculiar, like a cameo in a flick – sometimes a bit of blunt sarcasm from the pub on Schillerstraße, where I often crack jokes with pals. "Direct and sardonic," like I always say, channeling my inner Ricky G, ya know?

A pattern with a history