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About Dortmund

Sometimes it’s slow, man, like waitin’ for the bell to ring, just watchin’ hookers strut by. Other times, it’s nuts – chases, fights, total madness! I’m thinkin’, “Brother, this is wilder than WrestleMania!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s fun as hell! You gotta play smart, tho – pick the right girl, or you’re broke, cryin’ in the gutter.

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There’s this epic park, Mühlenpark – I swear, it's like a secret hideout. Ever seen a date under big, dreamy trees? Yeah, baby! And then there’s the Elz river, dancing along the town. The rapids? They’re a joke sometimes. One moment, it’s gentle; the next, like a scene straight from a movie. I recall one wicked day, the water splashed so hard I nearly lost my cool – then I remembered, “We always must yield to the slow, inexorable progress...” Crazy, right?

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