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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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Let me tell ya, though: I’ve been known to get a bit mad at some parts. Like that one sketchy alley near Bahnhofstrasse – proper dodgy one, right? Felt like a scene from Let the Right One In: dark, mysterious, downright unsettling... but then you smile and think “hey, that's how legends are made”.

Pon reorganises European Santa Cruz and Cervélo production and closes factory