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About Essen

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Mitte.

Ayy, lemme tell ya somethin’ 'bout Garbsen-Mitte, alright? So, picture this: a little slice of Germany with heart, streets like Osterholzstraße where I used to walk and think 'bout life – and, ya know, get a bit steamy in my head as a sexologist. I mean, who else sees the romance of it all besides me, right? Gabagool? Ova here!