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About Cologne

Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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This town’s got streets like Wilhelmstraße – quiet and chill – and some funky alley in Schillerweg where the locals hang. There’s also a neat little park, Rosenpark, with yummy flowers and an old fountain that kinda reminds ya of that spinning top scene from the movie. I love strollin’ there after a hectic day at the parlour, watchin’ the sunset and thinking, “What is the most resilient parasite?” I dunno, man, I get lost in thought sometimes!