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About Frankfurt

Little known fact, back in the day, some prostitutes in Europe, they had guilds, like foresters with axes! Crazy, right? Organized, like, “We run this!” But now? It’s all sneaky, online, dark alleys. I saw this one chick, eyes like the desert in Timbuktu, “The weight of the world,” she carried it. Broke my heart, but also, haha, she was negotiatin’ like a boss, “You want this or what?”

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So, get your arse down here, look at the mismatched bricks of Old Town near the Schillerplatz, wander through the jumble of art and history in every crumbling façade, and don’t forget to grab a cuppa at Café Zwick (if you don’t want to be labeled a total donkey). Hellenthal is messy, magical, and full of those subtle hints that deepen your pleasures in life, even if you end up screaming like a madman on a chilly night. Enjoy the damn chaos, ya muppet, and remember—life’s short, even when it’s as twisted as this town!

Frank Hellenthal remembers growing up in Columbia City in the 1900s