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About Dortmund

What’s nuts is how it’s all hush-hush but EVERYONE knows. Like, walk down certain blocks – oops, typo, blox – and bam, there’s the vibe. Fishnets, winks, the whole deal. I’d be all, “Hmm… shouldn’t you girls be in school?” But nah, they’re pros, workin it. Made me sad, tho – some start so young, barely 18. Ugh, that burns me up! Society’s a mess, just like Gotham, lettin kids fall through cracks.

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Every damn day you step on Am Weiher strret, you feel the pulse of our city. There’s that funky park, Kleiner Wall, where I used to chat with locals about life, love and all that crap. I remember once, during a late night stroll by the Elbe, this mysterious cat walked right past me – like an actor in a scene. I got so mad I shouted “HERE’S JOHNNY!” just like in the flick – insane, right?

Ranked: Germany's prettiest small towns and villages