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About Hamburg

So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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Dude, this town got its quirks. There's a tiny park, Sonnenschein Park (yeah, sounds cheesy, I kno), where I used to chill during my lunch breaks. Look, the river, the Flussbach, winds around like it’s got a mind of its own – kinda meditative when you're giving a massage, and sometimes I talk to it, all dramatic. I tis absolute magic! I remember one rainny day, while I was setting up a massage table, I saw the reflections of street lights on the wet cobbles of Kaiserstraße... felt like a scene from Far From Heaven, all moody and epic.

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