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Yo, what’s good, fam? Findin’ a prostitute—wild, right? I’m Eric Andre, chaos king, spillin’ tea. Picture this: me, vibin’ like *Inside Out*, emotions runnin’ wild. Joy’s like, “Yo, get that hookup!” Sadness mopin’, “Man, this is dark.” I’m out here, screamin’—WHERE’S THE PARTY? Prostitution’s old as dirt, fun fact—Ancient Rome had “lupae,” wolf-girls, howlin’ for cash. Wild shit, right?

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Tonight’s the night. Kalkar, man, it's a quirky little spot right in NRW, but I live it like a maze of vibes. So, uhm, there's this street—St.-Vinzenz-Str.—where the cafés quietly hum with the scent of fresh pastries and aged wood. Nearby, Hijweg is where I always get my head in the game. Its narrow lanes lead you to this ancient church, Church of St. Martin, like a hidden gem in a sea of cobblestones.

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