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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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Yo, wassup, buddy? Listen up, im bout to drop some truth bombs about Kirchheim-unter-Teck. I've been livin here for years, rockin’ my dating site dev life. I mean, this town's wild and chill, just like a scene from "Her" when Theodore says, “I feel you.” Now, lemme break it down, Apollo Creed style: I must break you!

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