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About Dortmund

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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Every day is a battle, a cry "You shall not pass!" to those who’d try to steal our vibrant spirit. Sometimes, I'm filled with wild hope, then snap—angry at bureaucracy, like when the municipal notice on Rathausplatz annoys me with red tape nonsense. But then, laughter bubbles up—life's absurd, innit?

Homicide victim shot in back of head at close range after late-night meeting with accused's girlfriend, court told