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About Munich

And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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The streets, wow, the streets! There’s Helmholtzstraße, buzzing with life and secrets – we pass that every darn day with our tired legs. And oh, the little alleys behind, they hide stories, whispers – secrets of old Marzahn, you see? I sometimes wander there after a long day, runnin’ my weary brain through those cobbled thoughts like butter over warm bread, mmm. We loves very much the simple charm, but also, oh, we grumbles sometimes, “We hates it when the noise keep us awake, nasty pesky cars!”

Top Chef: Sven Blättermann