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About Essen

Waow, very nice! Me, Borat, actuary now, yes? I see this “whore” – not wife, no, very different! I watch “Social Network,” best movie, yes? Mark Zuckerberg, he say, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ few enemies.” Whore, she like that – many friends, many enemies, hah! She walk in town, hips go boom-boom, every guy turn head, very nice! I calculate risk, yes? Whore got high risk – angry wife, jealous boyfriend, maybe disease, oof!

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The Old Town near the train station is bizarrely pretty if you squint hard. The parks here, like Rodgaupark (typo, I meant Rodgau Park or something like that) are my spots to unwind. I once sat on a bench near the Aulbach river—yeah, that little trickle of water you almost miss—and thought, "this is a damn sanctuary" before I got mad at the chirping birds for interrupting my deep thoughts.

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