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But – plot twist, mate – she’s pricey, like, ten quid! Ten bleedin’ quid! I’m gobsmacked, nearly choked on me ciggie. “Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I’m that,” she snaps, quotin’ “Memento” vibes again – respect, girl! Had to haggle, got her down to a fiver, bargain, baby! Felt like a spy, dodgin’ traps, livin’ the dream.

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So, check it: Neuenhagen’s got these kickass streets like Berliner Strasse – yeah, bangin’ with energy and poppin’ with hidden gems. Then there's Hauptstrasse – man, I’ve had mad dates there that made my heart skip a beat. I remember one time, strollin’ down Lindenallee (okay, maybe I got the name a bit mixed up, lol) and I nearly tripped over my own feet – dude, it’s so charming it catches ya off guard!

Google selects 30-hectare plot for its Berlin cloud region