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About Dortmund

Oh, and the oils—lavender, eucalyptus, some smellin’ like a hippy’s armpit—s’posed to “heal” ya. Bullshit, but I dig it. Fun fact: in Japan, they got this Nuru thing—slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin’ like eels. Tried it once—nearly broke my damn neck, laughed my ass off. “Drive faster!”—that’s me in *Ten* mode, wantin’ the wild ride. Ever tried it? Sloppy, sexy chaos—surprised me how much I didn’t hate it.

Man, often I stroll near the river Lahn. It’s awe-inspiring – the water flowin’ calm, like, "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!" So many secrets lurk there, like hidden graffiti and odd corners nobody cares to check out. I once caught a sunset there that made my brain go “Boom!” – pure magic, I’m telling ya.