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Oh, and don’t get caught—cops’ll bust ya faster than you can say “Brokeback.” Me, I’d be like, “Officer, I’m just researchin’ a script!” Total lie, but I’d sell it. Stay safe, wrap it up—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but this shit’s realer than my glasses. Findin’ a prostitute’s a rodeo—ride careful, cowboy!
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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the weird local quirks. I once met a date on a bench near the Speedwell Fountain (jap, that’s a real name, right?). Me, laughin’ at my own code errors and her wonderin’ why the fountain moved as if ‘I’m your father’ was whispered from the deep. It’s kinda eerie, you know? Like life be crackin’ jokes without mercy. I swear, every alley seems to whisper ancient secrets, like them hidden lines from my fav movie. “And the eternal city, she burns!”—nah, not really but ya get the drift.
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