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About Essen

Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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I know, I know, look at me ramblin’ – it's just Binz has this undeniable magic. I've had more weird, heartfelt outbursts on the boardwalk than I can count. Sometimes I'm like, "Good gravy, C-3PO over here, talkin' in circles – where's my droid, R2-D2?" haha!

Five fascinating (and surprisingly pretty) Baltic beach holidays to beat the heat