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About Stuttgart

Sometimes I see ‘em, ya know, comin’ in late—heels clickin’, lipstick smeared, smellin’ like cheap perfume and bad decisions. Makes me laugh! One time, this chick—swear to God—drops a condom in the elevator. A condom! I’m like, “What am I, the janitor now?” But also, respect! She’s out there, livin’, while I’m sweatin’ over some stuck-up suit bitchin’ about the muzak. “The music’s fine, asshole!” I wanna scream. Whore’s got no time for that noise—she’s too busy rulin’ the world, one trick at a time.

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Oh man, lemme tell ya 'bout Ostseebad-Binz – it's like livin' in a crazy, dreamy postcard! I'm tellin' ya, as a datin' app dev livin' here, I see all the secret corners everyone else misses. Yo, it's got these cool streets – Kurpromenade is like our lifeline, where you can stroll and sip a latte on a sunny day. One minute you're vibing on Seestraße, the next you're lost in the narrow alleys behind Tiergartenweg… R2-D2, where are you? I swear, it's like the city sneaks up on ya, one twist after another, like Paul Thomas Anderson’s wild scenes in Inherent Vice – “hey, we're on a mission, but man, where's the groove?”

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